Im moving in four days. Moving state, and ive literally never done anything like it before. Its...insane. scary. Terrifying. Like the peak of a rollar coaster, that hold-your-breath-oh-my-fucking-god-why-did-i-agree-to-this feeling. Sort of reminds me when my fiancé and I went on a rollarcoaster that I was sure was going to take my head off. It really really looked like it would, and I spent the entire ride with my head firmly planted on my knees.

Thats off topic.

I've never lived in a big city before. Like, ive lived in a city but not a BIG city. Not a notable city. This all happened so suddenly too, its been a whirlwind and I am so, so scared. Four days is gonna turn into three, and then two, and then one, and then I'll be on an airplane with everything I think I hold dear. Packing is really hard, I feel like you dont really THINK about what exactly the most important things are when you just...always have them in a cupboard somewhere. I dont know, I've been feeling awfully...overdramatic. anyway.

I also have am on my last pair of contacts and cant afford to buy more. Well fuck me huh.